Condoms come in all shapes and sizes. They are usually made of latex and you need to use water-based or silicon-based lubricant with them when fucking. If you are allergic to latex there are also condoms made of polyurethane. Polyurethane condoms are stronger and thinner than latex condoms and oil-based lubricants can be used with them.


Make sure you have the right size for you. Condoms generally come in medium, large and extra large. Condoms should be tight enough not to crumple during fucking but not so tight that they split.

Putting it on

  • Check the ‘use-by’ date on the condom wrapper. 
  • Rip the packet open. 
  • Take care not to tear or damage the condom inside. 
  • Unroll the condom down the length of your cock. 
  • Make sure you don’t have it inside out as this will make it difficult to unroll. 
  • Apply plenty of water-based or silicon-based lubricant to the outside of the condom (oil-based lube will weaken the latex). Applying a little lube to the head of your cock before putting the condom on can increase the sensation during fucking.
  • Make sure you put on a condom before any contact with the arse. Rubbing the tip of the cock against the arse, or pushing it inside slightly can lead to HIV being passed on.
  • Use a new condom for every partner.
  • Check the condom regularly during sex to ensure it hasn’t broken or come off.
  • Change condoms every so often if you are fucking for long periods of time.
  • If a condom breaks there is a treatment called PEP that may prevent HIV infection.

Taking it off

  • Once you’ve come, hold the base of the condom with your hand as you are pulling out so it doesn’t come off. 
  • Never reuse a condom after you’ve taken it off.
  • Dispose of it thoughtfully!

Condom care

  • Condoms have use-by dates because the latex weakens over time. 
  • Throw out any condoms that are past their use-by date.
  • Carry or store condoms carefully: they can be damaged or weakened from rubbing or crushing (in a wallet for example) or if they are exposed to heat for too long.

Can’t keep it up?

Many men have trouble getting or keeping an erection while putting on or using condoms. Erection difficulties are experienced more often by older men and by HIV-positive men. If this is a problem for you, discuss it with your doctor. Sometimes it is caused by smoking or drinking too much. There are specific treatments for erection difficulties.

Can my boyfriend and I fuck without condoms?

If you are both HIV negative

If you are in a relationship with someone who is also HIV negative and you want to stop using condoms, then it’s possible to do this safely. However, if you and your boyfriend want to start fucking without condoms it’s important that you both get an HIV test first.

Communication with your partner is also very important. Set some ground rules. If you are going to have sex with other men, you will both need to agree either to always use condoms with them, or not to have anal sex.

Go and both get an HIV test. Even if your test results are negative, keep using condoms until you have a second test.

After six weeks, go and get tested again. If these second tests also come back negative, and you’ve both had sex only with condoms in the meantime, you can be certain you’re both HIV negative. If you are both HIV negative you can stop using condoms with each other.

You need to be sure that you and your partner are honest with each other about sex outside the relationship. If one of you does fuck without a condom with someone else, you need to be able to discuss this as soon as it happens. Also, you will have to start using condoms again with each other until you have made sure that neither of you has become infected with HIV. Things change over time, so keep talking to each other about whether you want to continue with this kind of agreement. Change your agreement if either of you can’t stick to the rules.

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If you are both HIV positive

If you are in a relationship with someone who is also HIV positive and you want to fuck without condoms there are a number of issues you need to consider, such as other STIs (sexually transmissible infections). Some STIs such as syphilis have a more serious impact on people with HIV. Also, hepatitis C can be passed on through sex without condoms, and the chance of this happening is increased if there is damage to the lining of the arse and/or cock, which can occur through fisting, using sex toys, long-lasting sessions, and rough sex. Sharing unwashed sex toys and pots of lube is also a risk.

Make sure you get a regular sexual health check. Many people find it convenient to do this at the same time they have a blood test to monitor their viral load and CD4 cell count. You should also be tested for syphilis and hepatitis C.

If you have different HIV statuses

If you are in a relationship with someone who has a different HIV status and you want to stop using condoms there are a number of issues you need to consider.

There is now broad agreement among scientists that HIV medications significantly reduce the risk of HIV transmission and some people are now using this approach instead of condoms. While no HIV prevention method is completely safe, a number of factors will help to make this approach as safe as possible:

  • the person with HIV must have had an undetectable viral load for at least six months,
  • they must regularly take their HIV treatment as prescribed, and
  • attend regular check-ups to monitor their viral load.
  • Neither of you can have another sexually transmissible infection.

Also think about other ways to reduce the risk of transmission. These include the HIV-positive partner not coming inside their partner’s arse and/or the HIV-positive partner being the bottom while fucking.

A new prevention approach being trialled in Australia in 2015 is called PrEP (see PEP & PrEP). This involves the HIV-negative person taking anti-HIV treatments and this may help reduce the risk further, especially if the HIV-positive person has a detectable viral load. Contact your doctor or sexual health clinic for further information.

If you have sex with other people be clear about what you will and won’t do with others and don’t confuse this with what you will do with your partner. The best way to avoid getting another STI is by using condoms.

Finally, the HIV-negative partner should have regular HIV tests (every 3 months). If something does go wrong it’s important to know about it as soon as possible so you can take advantage of treatment and ensure you don’t pass on the virus to others.